sleeping,
napping,
dozing off,
if you want the best seat in the house...
you will have to move the cat.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Miyaviloves, I'd like to remind you that this is not a critique on other people's critiques. If you really read Incan's comments, you'll see that he does give constructive criticism. No, he doesn't suger-coat his critiques, and some people like that.
As a side note, I think you could spend a little more time editing your own posts, as they are difficult to read and immature for your age. Grammar is your friend, as is the spell check button.
Anyway, to continue with the topic... This was quite interesting. I'm not certain I can call it a poem (I personally feel it needs to have three lines to be considered a poem), but whatever it is, it has a haiku feel to it. I like that.
Maybe if you make it into more of a haiku format - not necessarily the syllables, but the three lines, it might read more like a poem. The second line is quite long anyway and it sort of takes away from the first line.
I agrew with gyrfalcon i have seen that he posts things that are just of no use he dosent even leave any positive things! If he has something bad to say he could atleast put it with osmething productive. I think your peoms are great so keep up the good work!
Oh no--Incan has struck again!!!
Don't let him bother you, jack, it's his job to be a pain (rather, he volenteers for the position). go check out Snoink's poem about him (The Incan Shark), it'll make you feel better.
Short and sweet. And very true.
Soldier boy jack--
This reads like an excuse to get points.
This may come as a shock to you, but you are posting in an on-line poetry workshop. The quality of the work you have posted here to date is not enough to make me think you are even trying to become a better writer.
When somebody posts work here, they are requesting that strangers take time and apply their experience in reading and writing poetry in order to provide reaction and/or suggestions that improve the posted work as a poem. The current piece could not be improved under any condtions.
It seems only common courtesy to post works which you have dedicated yourself to before seeking the advice of others.
Best,
Brad
Yeh, it's cute for a little kid!
I love cats and you can see that this is just the same as any!
RR*
i wasn't very old when i first wrote this poem but i still love it i think its one of my best (lol)
thanks for that you, can't really say anything more
hehe--short and sweet (and acurate)